Ambivalence

This is the time of year I feel so ambivalent about. Yes, it’s spring. Days are sunny, but not so stifling hot, and there is a sense of renewal in the air. But specifically these two weeks in early April are a painful reminder to me of that April of the year 2000… At this juncture, I find it difficult to believe five years have passed, and how much my life has changed. …
April is also tax time and again I become aware of my neglected duties. I am no patriot, but I know what I’m supposed to do. Blank forms are upstairs—I just never get around to remitting them.
This is also the time when all test preparation begins. Third partials are this coming week—then extemps are to be administered—followed too closely by final exams. This year will be different in that I will not have the summer off.
I did not go up to New York during Semana Santa, but hope to, perhaps, make the trip some time in July. I can take two weeks, but my financial situation is not as it once was, so I’m not sure yet when I will return. A is setting up something for a seminar in Spain around that time, and it would make sense to take care of my business simultaneously, but well…
Yesterday was the day of the water dumping. I don’t want to say more about that, but simply note it here to remind myself of how crazy Stress Week makes me. It’s a poor excuse, I know, but some things never change. They just manifest themselves in different ways.
I want to go to San Cristóbal today even though I have so many things to do and should get to them. I mean to go no matter what is pressing. Sometimes I get sidetracked by details, but I am always reminded that, “Life is short. Carpe diem.” Occasionally, I take heed and rush headlong into whatever appeals to me most. There is so little diversion on offer and what I like—I like. When the final tally is taken, I want to come out winning and as I see it, there’s only one way I can. Perhaps there is more than one way, but not many, not by a long shot.