She laughed and laughed when they told her she would have to slow down. “Are you fucking kidding me? Life’s too short, brother, to wait patiently for something out of the ordinary to come along. I make my own excitement.”
I was feeling just a little tense. Why she always had to come off like a dockworker on payday was beyond me. She had everything she needed already without putting her release in jeopardy by walking the jagged filament.
“And what is it mostly that would float your boat?” I asked, all innocence. If she could just get this out of her system in a talk-it-out way perhaps she wouldn’t need the sedation. But really, the thing I couldn’t understand was why she had signed herself in. None of us could help her now.
When the nurse came to strap her down and dose her, my own tenseness was lessened a little. Perhaps she had done all of us, those who loved her, a favor, by ultimately making the right choices.
I still believe that at one point she knew how much we loved her.
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